Please be an Ally instead of a Bystander
I have been feeling a lot of mixed emotions recently. Emotions ranging from helplessness, frustration, and anger, emotions that are, in every sense of the word, traumatic.
I hesitate to write about this, but as an Asian American born and raised in the Bay Area, I have seen it happen to me, and others, countless times. This was before the media began reporting on it.
And it needs to stop.
Enough is enough.
The Microaggression(s) Towards Asian Americans Needs To Stop.
This happened to me on Sunday, February 14th, 2021 — Valentine's Day, of all days!— at around 8:30 pm. I went to the laundromat and I noticed inside an Asian American male with a bald head and a black mask dangling from his face.
I asked him to please put his mask on, not thinking twice about it.
Instead, this is what happened: He raises his voices. He tells me not to do laundry if I am so scared of going outside.
I remember the shakiness in my tone, and I remember not wanting to look at him directly in the face to minimize conflict.
But I had to speak up: “Please wear your mask,” I said while focusing on putting my clothes into the laundry machine.
Again, he continues to escalate — this time, threatening to not wear his mask at all because I asked him to.
And that is what happened: he ended up not wearing his mask, which made me even more anxious.
I saw him leaving eventually, with his mask still dangling on his face, but what he did next shocked me.
As I was muttering to myself, my appearance visibly upset by his intimidation, he exclaimed “What did you say?!,” turned towards my direction, and started chasing me around the table separating me from him, as if he wanted to assault me.
I told him that there were cameras around. “I don’t care,” he shouted.
And without hesitation, he continues chasing me around, all because I asked him to wear his mask.
As I was running, I began to realize that I could get seriously hurt by him. I wanted this to stop — I cannot continue running like this forever — so I put my hands up, and waited to see what he was going to do next.
Fortunately, he did not hit me, but the scars that he left with me during that frantic chase did not go away.
And that is not okay!
Microaggression towards Asian Americans, whether it is by Asian Americans or not, is unacceptable — and wrong. No Asian American should be subjected to intimidation — and in the worst-case scenario, violence — simply because of their appearance — and in my situation, asking him to wear his mask properly.
I spent about 20 minutes processing what happened to me, and I called the police afterwards. The police, unfortunately, told me that the police report will not go anywhere because I was not physically assaulted, and he was no longer there.
Still, just because the police will not do anything about it does not mean that this is okay. It does not give anyone a free pass to intimidate me, or anyone who is an Asian American.
And frankly, anyone for that matter.
So I urge you, the reader, to Please treat others with civility, and compassion, during this stressful time that we are in — and, Please wear your mask properly.
More importantly, Please do your part to end the Individual Racism that does not go reported. When you see microaggression towards Asian Americans, regardless of who it is, Please be an Ally instead of a Bystander.
Again, I cannot say this enough: Please be an Ally instead of a Bystander.
We need your help.
David Pan is a graduate student at the University of California, Berkeley pursuing Social Work.
